Austin Crowley learned how to set stuff on fire from a young age. That's all Boy Scouts learn to do with their time, really -- until they become Man Scouts, at which point they have more autonomy, you know, to set stuff on fire. They can choose what they set on fire as adults. It's called arson at that point.

But listen. Our intern is on fire right now. Austin is on fire. This is not metaphorical. He's not 'on fire for marketing.' Look at this picture. He sees the flames. He knows his state. He probably did it, himself. Granted, he's an adult.

As far as we can tell, Austin's on fire everywhere. We've not seen him not-on-fire. He's on fire as a marketing major / communications minor at University of Alabama in Huntsville. He's on fire as a member of Alpha Tau Omega. He was on fire as Trent's right-hand-man throughout our recent Tommy Battle campaign.

We don't have to talk about the obvious, though. Let's cover some of the less obvious. Did you know Austin's first concert was T-Pain? Dude loves T-Pain. He might also like pain, like, in general. He is on fire.

OK, OK -- let's get away from the fact that he's on fire. What else can we talk about?

Let's talk about this list that we asked Austin to give us about himself that he just gave us so that we could give it to you. How's about that? That list has nothing to do with fire:

  • I listen to Good Day by Nappy Roots to start off every work day
  • The sun makes me sneeze
  • My favorite chips are Lays dill pickle
  • Eating popcorn is my hobby
  • I attend every UAH sporting event I possibly can
  • In Alpha Tau Omega fraternity
  • Played baseball in high school
  • Favorite baseball team is the Pirates; favorite football team is Alabama
  • Can teach you all the current line dances due to experience as an Orientation Leader
  • I scored tickets to see Adele next month in Nashville
  • Huntsville and UAH enthusiast
  • Wish I could grow a beard that wasn’t invisibly blonde
  • Presented at the NODA Southern Regional Orientation Workshop
  • Mountain Dew is my caffeine of choice
  • I am stung by every flying insect
  • I hope to travel as much as possible
  • I’ve only flown once -- from NSV to CHC
  • I’m the type of person that reads all of the text on historical markers
  • Not shy at all; would have a meaningful conversation with a brick wall
  • Dave and Buster’s is currently my favorite
  • I'm on fire all the time

Right. You caught us. We added the last one.

But it's true. This dude's brilliant. This dude's sizzling. No matter what's going on, Austin's unquestionably, unflinchingly on fire.

And maybe we're being just a little metaphorical at this point. We are adults, too, after all. Austin Crowley is, as far as we can tell, heatedly driven and blisteringly skilled. When it comes to applying our own fire to him -- the metaphorical kind -- we do it deliberately.

And as our on-fire intern, he deserves a Red Brick nameplate. So we applied his name to one and gave it to him today.

Howdy, Austin.